Since you say that sex always hurts at least a little, it’s likely that you’re not producing enough below-the-belt lubrication. To play it safe, you might want to visit your gyno to rule out any medical problems, such as cysts or infections. But, there’s a good chance that you just don’t engage in foreplay long enough to become adequately aroused. Next time you and your guy are getting busy, take it slow. Have him lavish attention on all your hot spots, with plenty of genital touching and tongue teasing. And, make sure you apply some water-based lube to your vagina or his shaft right before he enters you.
That said, the reason you experienced such severe pain with your new man was probably plain old fear. It sounds like the eye-opening encounter of seeing his “huge” member for the first time freaked you out a bit. Anticipating discomfort causes your muscles — even your vaginal ones — to tense up, making penetration more difficult. So, in addition to extended foreplay and extra lube, it might also help if he gives you a long, sensual all-over massage before intercourse, which will turn you on and mellow you out.